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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Children's Books - Anybody Can Do It!

Have an idea that just popped in your head? Maybe your puppy is the cutest thing ever and deserves to be immortalized in print? Why don't you write a children's book?
     It's easy after all and won't take much of your time. Just jot your story down and pop it in the mail. Publishing houses are waiting for you and your fantastic idea, chomping at the bit for it. Don't worry if it's not polished - that's what editors are for! (After all, it's the idea that's valuable - any old hack can write.) They'll snatch it up and get back to you in a few days with "We love it! We want to buy it!" (Might as well put a down payment on that beach house you've been looking at - the advance will be huge.)
     It should take a few weeks for an illustrator to apply their magic to your story. (Or maybe you have a cousin who likes to draw? That could save the editor time finding an artist.)
     And badabing-badaboom - your book will hit all the major commercial chains within a month or so. Have your friends and family look for it at the featured display table.
     From there you'll have all-expense paid book tours, the New York Times best-seller list, Oprah, and heck, you might even change a child's life with the good advice you shared.
     So, if you have a free weekend or a few hours, how about give it a go!? Your public is waiting!

April fools.
Want to learn the truth about children's publishing? Read my article "How Do I Get Published?"

8 comments:

Ginger*:) said...

Made my day... Thanks for the laugh!

Anne Jewett said...

If only... Thanks for the laugh. Really enjoyed reading your article in the Bulletin on apps.

Elizabeth O. Dulemba said...

I'm glad y'all are laughing! Hubbie thought I was being too snarky.
;-)
e

Patricia said...

e, you are such a hoot. :)

Sad thing is, there are so many people who actually believe this!

Ben Woodard said...

Your last line broke my heart.

Elizabeth O. Dulemba said...

Which one? "April fools?"

Sharon Mayhew said...

That was great! I love it when people ask if you've picked a publisher and an illustrator yet. :)

Elizabeth O. Dulemba said...

Yup - I tried to comment on the most typical misconceptions. :)

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