Dear Highlights: What Adults Can Learn from 75 Years of Letters and Conversations with Kids

From Editor in Chief, Christine French Cully, on her new book: Why/What/How does this book help readers do things or think about things differently?
This book offers a rare, honest look at childhood through the eyes of kids themselves. We adults often think we remember childhood clearly. But, for most of us, our memories are spotty or blurred. Sometimes we can be a little dismissive of kids’ everyday concerns. After all, because we have hindsight, we know that most of the time things work out fine. We don’t always see that these “problems” loom large in the child’s mind.

We also tend to think of childhood as idyllic or carefree. But childhood is a time of heavy lifting for kids! They are developing character, discovering their strengths, finding belonging, and building self-esteem. Even the best-intentioned adults sometimes make assumptions about how kids are managing the ups and downs of children. Encouraging them to share their thoughts and leaning in to listen is a no-fail way to learn something we can do to serve kids better. We hope this book will elevate kids’ voices and remind grown-ups that the small act of listening can make a big difference in kids’ lives. We hope that this book will spark a movement based on this simple but powerful truth.

The letters we receive span the spectrum of childhood concerns, and, perhaps surprisingly, they have changed very little over the decades. Although the world has changed greatly, the way kids grow and develop have changed little. For the most part, kids write to us about the same fundamental issues as previous generations. Most of their letters deal with situations at school, at home, and with friends. Some of their letters touch on more serious problems, often adult problems kids can’t solve but must deal with. Reading these letters, you can’t help but admire children’s courage in reaching out. Hearing them talk about their hopes and dreams, worries and fears, makes it impossible to underestimate their interest in understanding the world around them and finding their place in it. We estimate that kids have sent us more than 2 million pieces of correspondence over our 75-year history. Our long-held tradition is to write back to every child. They write to us as if we are a dear, trusted friend. We reply in kind, considering it an honor and a privilege. And here’s what we’ve come to see as the most important takeaway: In every letter about almost every subject, there are implicit, overarching questions embedded within: Do you care? Am I loved? Hardwired for connection, kids crave more meaningful moments when the grownups they love are fully present. Kids reach out to be heard—and to be told that they are not alone. And that they are, indeed, loved.

Our mission at Highlights is to help kids become their best selves: curious, creative, caring, and confident. We believe that the most powerful motivator for kids are loving, stable human relationships, which begin and are sustained when we encourage kids to share--and when we listen to everything they want to say.